10 Valentine's Gifts That Don't Suck

Okay, Valentine's shopping is annoying. For the most part (and no offense to any men who are otherwise inclined) you can't get guys any of the typical Valentine's gifts: flowers, jewelry, lingerie, etc.

You're dating a girl you say? Though there tend to be more options when it comes to buying gifts for girls, still many female-focused Valentine's gifts are cheesy, tacky, or cliche

So, whether you're male, female, transgender, transvestite, or dating any of the above, the following (in no particular order) are ten unique treats for your sweet (even if you're doin v-day on the cheap):


1. Paul Simon Lyrics, the book: Covers all of Simon's romantic, soulful songs from 1964-2008,
including original handwritten images of songs in progress.
With lines like "You've got the cool water when the fever runs high/ You've got the look of lovelight in your eyes" this book is sure to steam up a winter night. $28






2. Susy Jack has unique, Eco-Friendly Cards (like this Be Mine "Surprise a Sweetie" one that clips onto a clothes line and can be hung anywhere your honey might find it.)

Or opt for the simple "I Love You" cards which come in Spanish, French, and English text. All SJ paper is 100% post-consumer recycled, products are printed and hand-assembled within the U.S. and they use minimal, recycled packaging materials. Now that's something to gush over. $3.50-4.25





3. Vere Chocolates: Organic, elegant, decadently rich. Though slightly more pricey than some other brands (gift boxes start at $26 and a single chocolate bar will run you $5) these artfully crafted, quality chocolates are worth every penny. Especially if your chocolates will be flying solo as your sig-o's V-day present, or if you have a mother-in-law you're hoping to impress. Vere's also offers vegan and diabetic-friendly items but if you need a classy sugar fix that'll inspire lust try the Purist Caramel which for $28 gets you 16 beautiful, bit-sized chocolates like Lavender, Rose-Pistachio, Ginger-Sesame, and Cinnamon-Pecan.


4. Rose Petal Soap: If you plan on getting dirty with your Valentine, consider gifting him/her these delicate petal-shaped soaps which are good for one wash each. Not only will you feel like you're bathing in roses, but instead of a grimy, used-to-be-white-but-now-kind-of-gray Lever bar sitting on your sink, you'll be looking at a beautiful potpourri in a glass apothecary jar. The jar holds 50 petals, giving you reason to get dirty again...and again... $29.70





5. Pink Gun Earrings: Okay, maybe I'm slightly biased, but these pink gun earrings are the shit. Any guy who gave me these for Valentine's Day would be A-Okay in my book. Of course, you gotta know your lady's taste. Not everyone wants to walk around with weapons dangling from her ears. $6


6. Lover's Quarrel Pillow Cases: They're a bit cutesy, but these quarreling lovers pillow cases are an intimate way to remind your honey that sometimes (s)he ain't so sweet. So if you're in love with a cover hog, pillow stealer or snorer, celebrate his/her flaws with this dreamy gift. $36








7. Bamboo Speakers: If you've got a gadget fiend on your hands, or a sig-o with an Asian fetish, these bamboo speakers will hit the sweet spot. Compact, lightweight, USB-powered, and the best part... only $26.99, a steal for a portable speaker made from the eco-chic plant.


8. Inside Out Martini Glasses: So some of us are dating grown-ups and have to find mature presents to give them, blah, blah. The great thing about being mature? Sharing. This is the perfect gift that gives back. Once your baby's got two of these bad boys, (s)he will feel inclined to provide you with a cocktail or two, and maybe even let you decorate one of the classy glasses with a sticker of your name? No? Too much?
$65 for set of two




9. Gun Socks: Hold up partner! Do you think that socks make a crappy, eighth-night-of-Hanukkah-esq gift? Well, perhaps you've just been experiencing unsatisfying socks. Wanna pull out the big guns when it comes to your partner's foot fashion? Try giving a pair of these and you'll be in for some serious heat. $10

10. Vase with a meaning: Giving flowers is a Valentine's staple, and one that I happen to enjoy. But if you wanna step up your flower power from sigh to oh-my, try stashing some stems in one of these unique vases that your honey can cherish even after the bloom is off the rose:


This unique flower holder proves love is blind. The traditional-looking vase is covered in love letters written in braille. Now who wouldn't swoon when you take his/her hand and rub it over the bumpy surface as you explain it's meaning? Just a suggestion... $87



Try one of these DIY-themed vases that let you write any message, design, or naughty picture you want in chalk. You or your giftee can change up the message whenever you feel the urge, just don't run your nails over it. $35. Or you can do a real DIY version - simple as buying a glass vase and some chalkboard paint.



Okay, so we're a little heavy on the gun-theme, but this vase adorned with a single red rose will blow your main squeeze away. Romantic without being mushy, it evokes feelings of danger and desire...plus it's just plain cool. $25